Pitchfork: How are you feeling these days?
Lil Tracy: My feelings change a lot. Like some days I’m really up and other days I’m like shit. Right now I’m pretty OK. I went to the memorial [to commemorate the one-year anniversary of Lil Peep’s death] and it was hella cool. People there were showing love. It made me feel less lonely.
So let’s start at the beginning. What was life like for you before you went to L.A.?
Well, I used to get in trouble and my dad [Ishmael Butler of Shabazz Palaces] lived in Seattle. So I would kind of go back and forth from Virginia to Seattle growing up. I would get in trouble over in Virginia and my mom [Coko Clemmons of SWV] would send me to Seattle, and then I would get in trouble there, go back. Until I decided to get in trouble somewhere else on my own.
What were you getting into trouble for?
I got caught doing graffiti with my friend in broad daylight once. And I got caught selling weed in middle school, in Seattle. And then I got expelled from my high school, after the first three days in Virginia. I had really just started smoking weed and you know how you have to crack open a Dutch [Master]? I wasn’t good at cracking them open yet so I had brought a knife with me to school. And then I was in class, like getting something out of my backpack and then the knife fell out and hit the ground. It was just like “Ding!” The dude next to me just happened to be a snitch, and then they took that shit very seriously. For good reason, I could’ve been crazy.
When did you start recording?
In That’s insane. I actually started making beats first and that was before I think I was like They were really bad. I used to sample like Arabic music for some reason.
So when did you join Gothboiclique? I know you were a part of Thraxxhouse first.
I was, yeah. That’s actually why I went to L.A., to join Thraxxhouse. That was in like ,
What really drew you to Thraxxhouse in the beginning?
Thraxxhouse found me. I kind of knew about Thraxxhouse because Thraxxhouse was formed in Seattle. So when I was going to school there as a kid, I kind of knew some of the dudes. But I wasn’t cool yet. Like literally I wasn’t. And then when I was in VA, I changed my name to “Yung Bruh” and I started making weird shit. And then this dude named Nedarb Nagrom hit me up like, “You’re fucking fire, bro! Come stay at the Thraxxhouse.” I didn’t even tell my mom. Just left.
How did you come to join Gothboiclique?
GBC was already a thing. It was like a branch of Thraxxhouse. It was really for the white boys, the emo shit. The way that I actually joined Gothboiclique is hilarious. Wicca Phase [Adam McIlwee] was like the head honcho [of Gothboiclique]. He is the head honcho. And at that time I looked up to Wicca Phase almost like on a stan level. So I had found this hand me down GBC shirt and I wore it every day, to bed, in the morning, everywhere. And I was with Horse Head, and I told him to ask Wicca Phase if I could be in GBC. When he asked him, Wicca Phase was like, “Well, he wears the shirt enough!” And that’s how I got in. I found “Lil Tracy” there. The way I became “Lil Tracy” was Nedarb was throwing away his old clothes, then there was this old Tracy McGrady jersey. I put it on and I was like “I’m Lil Tracy!” And then that shit just took off.
When did you meet Lil Peep? It was the day you made “White Tee” right?
We met that day.
Had he just kind of shown up or had you heard about him before?
It’s weird because when I had got locked up once, when I got out, I went back to one of my friend’s house who knew about the underground. He was like, “Bro, this dude said ‘Free you’ in a song.” And I was like, “Who?!,” because back then I was kinda like weird about people. I still am. I have beef with a lot of people. So I was like “Who is saying my name?” And then I saw the song.
So that’s where you first heard of him.
Yeah. The way that I actually met Peep was through Nedarb. We didn’t even speak that much at first. He was just like, “Yo, I have this open for you,” and then I just hopped on it. Everybody was like, “Oh my God, this is fire.” And then he was like, “Well, my homie has a yellow Jeep, let’s shoot the video.” Then the next day or so after this shit dropped, it was like, k, k, k, , k. Then it started a whole avalanche. It felt like we were like possessed. When we would record, it was so easy. I don’t know how to explain it.
Do you have any favorite collaborations that you two got to work on together?
I have three favorites. My favorite, favorite is “Backseat.” That shit is so hard to me. I just like how the video is. I like “I Crash, U Crash,” and then “Giving Girls Cocaine.”
Did you two write together?
We would sit down literally together, like working on a project at school. I miss that shit. We would give each other bars. It is weird because I felt like the people that were behind him didn’t really respect that shit, which I get because he’s their artist, I’m not. But at the same time it’s like to you see what’s happening when these two artists are collaborating.
I know that kind of tension with Peep’s management was hard on your relationship.
Shit pissed me off. Everyone thinks that it’s because I wasn’t shown in the “Awful Things” video that much. But that was what I used to finally just be like, “You know what? Fuck everybody.” I moved to Philly when he was on his last tour. I didn’t have a phone, or a computer. All I had was a little flip phone. I was just by myself and I was staying in a hotel. It was weird bro. Something was telling me to distance myself from everybody. And then that’s when I found out that Peep had died.
Lil Peep passed this time last year, you’re alone in Philly, and then what did you do? How did you cope?
I just got even more angry in the beginning. I was mad at myself. I am mad at like a bunch of different people. I was just very angry. Angry Tracy. And I’m starting to not be angry. The following months I just tried to be sober because I was scared. And then I almost died. That was even scarier.
What are you still mad about it?
It’s a touchy subject. I felt like certain people are just doing weird shit, using Peep’s name, dating his ex like right after. It hasn’t even been a year. I feel like people are using him for sales, and that shit is just wack. But then at the same time, they can just say, “Oh, that’s my bro.” But you never see me doing that shit really. Because people already know. It should already be known. Why do you have to say it every five seconds?
So this is where “Lil Whore” is coming from.
That’s exactly where it came from. Just seeing a bunch of bullshit online. Like Quavo, oh my gosh. When that song came out, people kept DMing me and hitting me up, saying, “You’re not going to say anything?” Just let it rest. Quavo literally said that his barber died. So you niggas look stupid again. Just trying to make everything about themselves. And that shit is wack. Like, “Oh my God, I fucking miss you. This is so hard for me.” Like, nigga shut the fuck up! To carry someone’s legacy doesn’t mean to just ride his legacy. Rep him, yes. I rep Peep, I have him in the middle of my face. It’s not a replica tat, it’s not something he had, it’s my own thing. I feel like people lack the respect and it’s kind of tainting it. I mean you can never taint his legacy. They’re tainting their own legacy.
Have you talked to anyone you reference on that song since it came out?
Yeah [laughs]. I’ve talked to Fat Nick. I be trolling him. I DMed him the other day and I was just like, “Bro, what’s your PSN?” Just joking around. I don’t hate Fat Nick. People think I hate him. I just like pushing his buttons, trying to make him think about what I’m saying.
More than anything you’re telling people to think a little differently.
Yeah. Especially TooPoor. I feel like she’s slipping. Do you know who she dates now? Killstation. I actually fuck with Killstation, except for the fact that… Well he shot “White Tee,” him and Peep were friends. But if I died and my nigga started fucking my bitch bro? I’ll probably haunt you. I’ll be jealous as fuck! What are you doing? Get away from my bitch!
Have you listened to Come Over When You’re Sober P. 2 yet?
I heard one song. It sounded weird and I couldn’t listen to it.
Do you think you’ll ever listen to it?
Probably, yeah. Just not now.
Did you want to be on it?
I mean I definitely would have been on it, but this is the big topic. This is what everyone wants to talk about. What he would’ve wanted. But who really knows what he would’ve wanted. We weren’t even friends [at the end of his life], so who’s to say that he would’ve put me on it, you know what I’m saying? I wasn’t gonna like push to get on it. But yeah, they put X [XXXTentacion] on there, but they didn’t put Lil Tracy on that. That’s no disrespect to X, I actually fucked with X. It’s just like “Two dead niggas, let’s put them on a track, this will sell.” It feels like I’m gonna wake up tomorrow and be like, “What the fuck was that? That dream was weird!” But this is what it is.
Do you ever feel like people have kind of written you out of like Peep’s history at all?
Bro, they were doing that while we were making history. I just feel like people don’t respect the relationship we had. I don’t even know why. People always did that. I feel like his management was just on some dick shit. They never hit me up. I’m like “Damn, what did I do wrong?” We did have one last song, it kind of sucks though. Have you heard it? “Ratchet Bitches Cocaina”? I had dropped it and then it got immediately taken down, which I get, but then they never hit me up about it. That’s why I’m trying not to ride this whole wave right now. Just being online acting sad and shit. I just be sad in my room. Putting it into my music. And that’s what Sinner was, repenting for all that bullshit.
Lil Tracy is getting better
After experiencing loss, and a recent near-death experience, the cult hero looks to emerge on the other side as a finer version of himself.
Lil Tracy is well known for quickly deleting tweets and songs, and changing his performance name often. These might seem like the actions of an erratic artist but, inside his third-floor Brooklyn apartment on an especially humid late summer afternoon, he's shy and calm. In the otherwise dark living room, Tracy is practically beaming as he sports a pair of neon green Nikes and a freshly-bleached buzz cut. “It's mad hot,” he says, apologizing as fans blow the stifling air around. When the temperature in the apartment gets to be too much, he suggests heading to the roof, leading the way up and sitting close to the edge of the five-story building. “I come up here alone a lot,” he says quietly. “I like to think here.”
Lil Tracy was born in New Jersey as Jazz Butler to musicians Ishmael Butler and Cheryl “Coko” Clemons. As a member of Digable Planets, his father won the Grammy for Best Rap Performance by a Duo or Group in His mother, as the lead singer of SWV, had multiple singles hit the Billboard Hot One of them, “Sunshine,” was dedicated to Tracy. Though both of his parents were huge contributors to '90s R&B and hip-hop, Tracy says he wasn't aware of their accomplishments growing up: “I kind of don’t remember much. I was just a kid. I didn’t really know they were famous until I was older.”
When he was a baby, his parents split. His father headed to Seattle, and Tracy and his mom moved to Virginia Beach. “Whenever I’d get in trouble, my mom would send me to Seattle, and when I would get in trouble there, I’d get sent back to Virginia,” he says. Even though he found himself back and forth between two homes, Tracy spent the majority of his upbringing in Virginia Beach. “Virginia is just boring as fuck,” he laughs. “It’s just bland. No one is pushing to get out. You either work, you’re military, or you get shot or something.” Passionately involved in skateboarding and graffiti, Tracy describes his childhood as one full of rebellion. Perhaps it was this rejection of authority that led teenage Tracy to choose to move out and live with a group of friends in a tent in a Virginian forest, where he kicked off his musical career. “I started making music in that tent,” he remembers. “I used to steal a lot, so I had this shitty ass mic and a Macbook. I would go to McDonald’s to charge it, and then record in the tent.”
With no plans for the future, Tracy figured he’d eventually stop living a nomadic lifestyle and go back home. But his music soon began to gain traction. Nedarb Nagrom, who was already producing for the emo hip-hop collective GothBoiClique, reached out to the young rapper online and invited him to Los Angeles. Once in L.A., Tracy quickly joined the ranks of the GBC (which now houses artists Wicca Phase Springs Eternal, Coldhart, Horse Head, and many others). Influenced by Chicago drill as much as they were by early s emo bands, GBC connected through Tumblr and SoundCloud long before they met in person. “It’s so weird that I moved to L.A. with them, since I knew Wicca Phase before Nedarb knew who I was,” Tracy says. In L.A., he met the late Lil Peep, who would become both his close friend and frequent collaborator. “The first day I met Peep we made a song without question,” he says. “Never in my life have I connected with someone like that. Literally the first day we met we recorded “White Tee” and shot the video.” Tracy and Peep laid down some definitive tracks together, releasing a slew of singles alongside their melody-heavy, sample-laden collaborative mixtapes castles and CÅSTLES II.
“I haven’t been living my best life and I’m trying to change it.”
Sitting on the roof, Tracy shows off his freshly tattooed knuckles, adorned with Cyrillic script in bold, black ink. “It means ‘Soul of Peep’ in Russian,” he says. It’s one of many tattoos Tracy has in tribute to his friend, including a Peep candy in the middle of his forehead, and a bright red anarchy A on his face. “Gus taught me a lot,” he says, “I miss that nigga.” Just months after Lil Tracy left GothBoiClique under circumstances he prefers not to discuss, Lil Peep tragically died from an accidental overdose of fentanyl and Xanax. Tracy recalls that when the two were still on precarious terms, Peep came to him, asking him to make a song together. “I wasn’t sure if I wanted to,” Tracy explains, “but Gus said it would be the biggest thing we’d ever do. He looked me dead in my eyes and said, ‘Bro, please. This is the last song we will ever do together.’” That song was “Awful Things,” which now sits at hundreds of millions of streams per platform, and even peaked at No. 79 on the Billboard Hot last December.
Despite being a foundational figure of the so-called niche genre emo rap, Lil Tracy is quick to dismiss the label. “I fucking hate that shit. It sounds so dumb. Emo rap,” he scoffs, “I hate when people try to put me in one category.” When asked how he would categorize his own music, Tracy pauses to think: “If I had to had to classify it, it probably would be with a word that doesn’t exist yet.” Perhaps that is the only way to properly define Lil Tracy’s music, since the mixture of influences and sounds range from experimental electro, to trap, all the way to country. It was his country-rap fusion track, “Like A Farmer,” that most recently propelled Lil Tracy into the spotlight. “I made that shit by accident,” he says, laughing hysterically. “I was drunk as fuck and doing a farmer impression all night — no offense to, like, actual farmers.” Surprisingly, it was “Like A Farmer” broke Tracy out of his niche GothBoiClique fanbase. Last month, he announced the upcoming release of the SINNER EP, his first project of “With everything that has been happening the past couple years, I haven’t been living my best life,” he says. “And I’m trying to change it. It’s basically me calling myself out.”
The announcement for the EP came just weeks after Tracy had a drug-induced heart attack. Doing small amounts of cocaine one evening, Tracy unknowingly drank someone’s THC-infused lean at his apartment, mistaking the clear liquid for Sprite. Later in the night, Tracy went to a bar in Brooklyn, and, after a couple of shots, he began to feel as if he was having a seizure. He attempted to run home in the dark, struggling to stay on his feet, when a group of fans drove by, screaming his name. Tracy ran up to the car and explained that he was having a heart attack. The bewildered fans drove him to the emergency room. “I don’t know what would have happened if they weren’t there,” he says. “It was kind of depressing. I just feel wrong since it’s happened. But it makes me want to work more. It made me want to work on this EP. If I didn’t have the heart attack, I’d probably be fucked up somewhere right now.” Tracy says that, after the harrowing near-fatal incident, he’s now opted to live a sober lifestyle.
has been a difficult year for the young artist, who has dealt with loss, his own mental health, a frightening heart attack, and more. Despite this, the future looks incredibly bright, and the young artist affirms that it’s never too late to better yourself. On a path towards improvement, and with a career that only will grow exponentially, Tracy just wants to clear up one thing — his name isn’t just Tracy anymore. “Now, it’s Lil Tracy, or Tracy Minaj,” he laughs, “the Lil is back on again.” Perhaps it’s a change for the better.
American rapper, singer and songwriter
Jazz Ishmael Butler (born October 3, ), professionally known as Lil Tracy, is an American rapper, singer, and songwriter. He was also known under the name Yung Bruh during the beginning of his career. Tracy is best known for his collaborations with the late rapper Lil Peep, specifically "Awful Things" which peaked at 79 on the Billboard Hot  and for being a prominent member of the "SoundCloud rap" and underground rap scene.
Jazz Butler was born on October 3, in Virginia Beach, Virginia to Ishmael Butler of Digable Planets and Shabazz Palaces and Cheryl Gamble, better known professionally as "Coko" from SWV. Talking about growing up in Virginia Beach, Butler said "it sucked but I love it" and said he grew up listening to emo music and southern hip-hop artists who inspired him to make music. Butler's parents split up when he was young and he would bounce between his mother and father's homes. Butler went to high school in Seattle, Washington at Garfield High School, and chose to be homeless at age
Butler started to make music when he was 15 before moving to Los Angeles, California at 18 (without alerting his parents) to focus more on his music career and due to being homeless. Butler originally started rapping under the name "Yung Bruh", releasing several mixtapes under the Thraxxhouse collective. Some members of Thraxxhouse, including Tracy eventually started their own group, the collective GothBoiClique. Through the group, Butler met New York rapper Lil Peep, the two quickly collaborated on the song "White Tee" from Peep's Crybaby mixtape which gathered attention through the hip-hop underground. He also released a single "Overdose" which sprouted his career even bigger.
In mid, changed his stage name from Yung Bruh to Lil Tracy due to discovering that there was already another artist using the "Yung Bruh" moniker. Under his new name he released his long-awaited mixtape Tracy's Manga on February 1,  Butler went on to release XOXO two months later on April 3. Butler featured on the single "Awful Things" from Lil Peep's Come Over When You're Sober, Pt. 1 in August  The single peaked at number 79 on the Billboard Hot 
Butler released Life of a Popstar on July 31, 
In , Lil Tracy released two EPs: Designer Talk on October 5 and long-awaited Sinner on November 2. Lil Tracy released his debut album, Anarchy, on September 20, In November Lil Tracy released his Designer Talk 2 Album.
- Anarchy ()
- Designer Talk 2 ()
- Cascadia Vibes ()
- Information ()
- Indigo Soul Mixtape ()
- Depression ()
- Asaku's Forest ()
- e m o c e a n ()
- ElegantAngel ()
- When Angels Cry (Death Has Wings) ()
- u,_u ()
- Vintage LSD ()
- Baeboyy ()
- Tracy World ()
- Virginia Hood Nightmares (The Unknown Story) ()
- Moon Stones ()
- Tracy's Manga ()
- XOXO ()
- Life of a Popstar ()
- Tracy's World ()
- Icy Robitussin 森林之神杨 ()
- Heaven's Witch ()
- Kim K & Kanye ()
- Vampire Spendin' Money ()
- Free Tracy Campaign ()
- Desire ()
- Castles(with Lil Peep) ()
- Castles II(with Lil Peep) ()
- Fly Away(with Lil Raven) ()
- Hollywood High(with Mackned) ()
- Designer Talk ()
- Sinner ()
- ^Ezra Marcus (Spring ). "Lil Tracy's Third Life". Retrieved April 30,
- ^ abcAndrew Matson (July 17, ). "When Will Lil Tracy Break Out Of SoundCloud Purgatory?". Archived from the original on December 29, Retrieved June 16,
- ^"Listen To Lil Tracy's New Song "Hey"". www.themaskedgorilla.com. Retrieved May 9,
- ^New Music Friday // , retrieved May 9,
- ^"Who is GothBoiClique member Lil Tracy? | sandblues". sandblues. May 11, Archived from the original on December 15, Retrieved March 5,
- ^ abcMass Appeal (February 1, ), Open Space: Tracy, retrieved March 5,
- ^"Lil Tracy Nods To Lil Peep In 'Demons' Video". Billboard. Retrieved March 5,
- ^"Lil Tracy Pays Tribute to Lil Peep With New "Demons" Video". Complex. Retrieved March 6,
- ^ ab"Lil Peep Awful Things Chart History". Billboard. Retrieved March 5,
- ^"The Emo Fan's Guide To Emo Rap – Riot Fest". Riot Fest. September 27, Retrieved March 6,
- ^"Who is Lil Peep and how did he get so famous?". Newsday. Retrieved March 6,
- ^Turner, David. "They Came From Soundcloud: Lil Uzi Vert and the 6 Rappers Who Could Be Rock Stars". W Magazine. Retrieved March 6,
- ^"Who Knew Coko Of SWV Has A Child With This POPULAR 90's Rapper? See Who". I Love Old School Music. January 30, Retrieved March 5,
- ^"Coko". WE tv. Retrieved March 5,
- ^6FT (November 25, ), 6FT – The Lil Tracy Interview, retrieved March 5,
- ^ ab"Lil Tracy is Dominating – Underground Spotlight". RunPoint.org. Retrieved March 5,
- ^Lil Peep (May 17, ), lil peep w/ yung bruh – white tee, retrieved March 5,
- ^"The Long Legacy and Tragically Short Life of Lil Peep". Mass Appeal. November 16, Archived from the original on May 7, Retrieved March 5,
- ^XOXO by LiL Tracy on Apple Music, April 3, , retrieved March 5,
- ^Lil Peep (August 17, ), Lil Peep – Awful Things ft. Lil Tracy (Official Video), retrieved March 5,
- ^"Try the TIDAL Web Player". listen.tidal.com. Retrieved March 5,
- ^Life of a Popstar by LiL Tracy on Apple Music, November 24, , retrieved March 5,
- ^"Listen to Lil Tracy's New 'Life of a Popstar' Project – XXL". XXL Mag. Retrieved March 6,
- ^"DESIGNER TALK – EP by Tracy". Genius. Retrieved November 15,
- ^Sinner – EP by Lil Tracy, November 2, , retrieved November 15,
- ^https://hiphopdx.com, HipHopDX- (November 12, ). "New Music Friday - New Albums From Future, Lil Uzi Vert, 2 Chainz & More". HipHopDX. Retrieved March 1,
Lil Tracy’s Third Life
The young cult hero has already lived multiple lives. After loss and a near-death experience, he’s trying to find his next rebirth.
Buy a print copy of the Lil Tracy issue of The FADER, and order a poster of his cover here.
Lil Tracy presses a button and his pants vanish. He’s rocking a trench coat, boots, and pixelated genitalia as he runs into the street, hops on the windshield of a police car, and thrusts his hips forward. Cops jump out and tase him. He falls to the ground, twitching. A bikini-clad stripper lights up the cops with an Uzi until their blood pools on the concrete.
“I probably shouldn’t have been playing this shit as a kid,” the year-old says, grinning.
The pink-haired rapper and I are sitting on the floor in the spacious Bushwick apartment he shares with his cousin, the rapper Buku Bandz. Their living room contains a couch, a TV, a PS4, and not much else. Tracy’s showing me his favorite video game: Saints Row 2, a deranged Grand Theft Auto clone from that promised on its release to “bring open world thug-driven action to the PS3.” As a teen, Tracy spent many hours creating different avatars in the game. “I made a character with a cheat where if they killed you, you would fly into the sky,” he says. “He had a cane. He was black, but really pale, and really evil.”
There’s nothing on the walls of Tracy’s bedroom, but the floor is a map of his mind. I spy a cowboy hat embroidered with skulls, a Chanel pearl necklace, several cute stuffed animals, a ghoulish white mask, and a pile of boxes of high-end clothes and jewelry with a value Tracy estimates at $15, His love for character design lives on.
Tracy spent his youth in Virginia Beach, where he ran away from home as a teenager and slept in a tent in the forest (more on that later) before moving to Los Angeles, where he bounced between friends’ living rooms and cars. During that time he’s released music under multiple aliases including Souljahwitch, Yung Bruh, Eblis The Persian Dolphin, and Yunng Karma. Tracy’s varied body of work reflects his renegade lifestyle, motivated by an insatiable desire for freedom — whatever the cost.
The musician recorded his most recent project — the Sinner EP, released in November — in the same bedroom room we’re sitting in. The EP is a significant return to the emo-influenced style that helped propel him, alongside Lil Peep and the Gothboiclique crew, to cult hero status in He wrote the project’s gorgeous single “Heart” last summer, shortly after experiencing a near-fatal heart attack. The song’s cover art — a heart with a band-aid listening to an iPod — reflects his belief that “music is what’s gonna help me get better.” It’s a tribute to a year he barely survived.
Lil Tracy was born Jazz Butler in Teaneck, New Jersey, in , the son of hip-hop and R&B royalty. His father is Ishmael Butler, who rapped as Butterfly in the trio Digable Planets and Palaceer Lazaro in the duo Shabazz Palaces. His mother is Cheryl “Coko” Clemons of the god-tier ‘90s R&B group SWV. His musical education began early. “He’d be on tour buses with me all over the world,” his mother says. When he was three, she dedicated her solo single “Sunshine” to her son, “because he’s my special guy.”
Tracy’s parents separated when he was very young, and he stayed with his mom. When he was eight years old, she remarried and moved the family to Virginia Beach, where Tracy loved skating through suburbia’s wide open spaces. He hated school, and eventually discovered punk music courtesy of the Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater soundtrack. “It changed my life,” he says, citing bands like South Central Riot Squad and The Pins.
Like a true punk, high school was a non-starter. Tracy was expelled his first week of freshman year when a knife fell out of his backpack in class, leading him to an alternative school for troubled kids where teachers didn’t assign homework and the cafeteria was an open air drug marketplace. Tracy stopped going, he remembers, appearing only to buy psychedelics and eat breakfast. Around that time, Tracy discovered Tumblr. He used the name Souljahwitch, and posted about witch house, lo-fi internet rap, and “kawaii goth” tropes. “I used to listen to Balam Acab on acid,” he says.
Tracy tells me all of this while sprawled out on his mattress, which is obviously on the floor. The winter sun sets beyond the Venetian blinds of his bedroom window, framing his face in horizontal bars of golden light. He speaks in a soft register without obvious regional signifiers: there’s a touch of Mid-Atlantic drawl, and notes of SoCal skater nonchalance. In another world, he could narrate a nature documentary. Instead, he explains his self-inflicted homelessness during his teenage years; at age 16, tired of fighting with his mom, Tracy ran away from home, stole a tent, and moved into a nearby forest with three friends. His infinite free time was matched only by his total lack of funds. “There was this fountain in downtown [Virginia Beach] where people would throw change,” he says. “I literally would go into the fountain just to get the money and go to McDonald’s.”
Tracy’s homelessness was a time of rebellion that would make Bam Margera proud, and one he remembers with fondness. “Me and my friends were crazy,” he says. “The shit we did, shit we talked about, I feel like that’s what really made me who I am.” It was during this period that music became Tracy’s primary motivation. He’d spend all day recording on his laptop at McDonald’s or at friends’ houses and released a torrent of captivating, lo-fi material under the alias Yung Bruh.
In , he received a message from the LA-based producer Nedarb Nagrom, who urged Tracy to move to Los Angeles. At the time, Nedarb belonged to a loose collective called Thraxxhouse (in reference to Lil B’s term “thraxx”), started in Seattle a few years earlier by the rapper Mackned. Tracy, then 18 years old, ended up crashing on a ragged futon in the living room of a Boyle Heights house where a contingent of the group were living. Artists hung out, took drugs, and recorded music all day; he fit right in. “I felt like I was powering up,” Tracy remembers. One day, Nedarb was throwing away old clothes, and asked if he wanted his Tracy McGrady jersey. He started wearing the shirt and calling himself Lil Tracy. It stuck.
The video for “White Tee,” Tracy’s first collaboration with Lil Peep, opens with a yellow Toyota truck pulling into a nondescript suburban driveway. Tree branches brush the car’s roof as it stops next to a white picket fence. Peep jumps out of the front seat and spits on the ground, followed by Tracy stumbling out of the back door. The camera flits around them as they dance lazily and mouth along to their verses. Sunlight cuts through the leaves, enveloping the boys in smudged halos of lens flare.
Tracy and Peep first met in They were introduced by Nedarb, who invited Tracy to Peep’s house in Pasadena. Within Tracy’s first five minutes there, Peep told him he had a verse open for him on a song called “White Tee.” They recorded the song and video that day, and the latter quickly hit a million views. “That was probably the happiest I had been in a long time,” Tracy remembers. Peep told him, “Bro, we’re gonna change the world.”
Around that time, Thraxxhouse had dozens of members and confused branding. Adam McIlwee — formerly of beloved emo band Tigers Jaw, who’d created his gothic rap solo project Wicca Phase Springs Eternal under the influence of witch house acts like Salem and Crim3s — wanted to start a new group specifically focused on dark themes. Wicca connected with fellow Thraxxhouse member Cold Hart on Tumblr. “He had sent me a beat called ‘Gothboiclique,’” Wicca recalls. “I was like, that’s what we should call it.” Gothboiclique combined the scrappy DIY approach of Thraxxhouse with a more sharply defined aesthetic. Tracy soon joined the fledgling crew. Cold Hart, now one of his closest friends, remembers, “We were the punks of the scene.”
Initially, Tracy’s ascent moved steadily. He and Peep released a series of collaborations that blew up online. But after a while, he felt like power dynamics between them began to destabilize their mission. Tracy heard through the grapevine that Peep’s management referred to him as a “jackal” who was “leeching” off their star. He also chafed at the way blogs and fans would post about their collaborations without mentioning him. “I felt like race had something to do with it, and the type of music we were doing,” he says.
To understand what he’s getting at, it’s important to think about the context in which Gothboiclique emerged. In the early ‘10s, a wave of artists inspired by ‘90s Memphis rap tapes released music full of references to suicide, murder, hard drugs, and the occult.
Many others, including Salem, Lil Ugly Mane, Ghostemane, and $UICIDEBOY$, were white. Like Eminem and Insane Clown Posse before them, the latter used gonzo “evil” themes rather than lived experience per se as their entry point to violent imagery. This had a potent appeal to a young, online, and primarily white audience who didn’t necessarily identify with mainstream — i.e. black — rap. Gothboiclique came from this charged environment; Tracy is one of two black members out of ten.
Tracy found himself in a bizarre position: a black rapper viewed with suspicion because of his race. “Even to this day,” he says, “I know for a fact, to some kids, I’m the only black person that they might ever really fuck with music-wise.”
Sometimes fan behavior moved beyond ignorance into straightforward racism. “There was a point where people would mention that I was black everyday,” says Tracy. “There was a trend of everyone commenting on my pictures with the n-word — with the -er. You know how you can go on Instagram and block out certain words? To this day, no one can comment the n-word on my Instagram.”
Then everything changed forever. On November 15, , Lil Peep died of a fentanyl and Xanax overdose on his tour bus. Tracy hadn’t been on good terms with him for a few months, but he’d recently tried to reconnect. He says he was rebuffed by Peep’s management, and “low-key Peep also,” when he asked to come to his Philly tour stop. There’s a video on YouTube of a clearly devastated Tracy performing their collaboration “Witchblades” at a tribute show in Boston a few days later. The raw catharsis on display is palpable. Tracy can’t make it through the first verse, tracing the outline of a heart and covering his tear-slicked face with his hands. The camera is inches away. The crowd roars every word. His tears are a digital monument.
These days, Tracy continues performing his Peep collaborations at shows. At first it felt weird, “because, you know” he says. “But now I like doing it. It reminds me.”
“[Peep] would do the same,” says Cold Hart. “He would blast our shit if we died. You have to overexpose yourself to it. Otherwise you can never jam out to it.”
The three of us are sitting on the floor of Tracy’s bedroom as we talk about the complicated aftermath of their friend’s death. I ask if things are starting to look up again. “I got AirPods now,” jokes Tracy. “We made it,” adds Cold Hart, brandishing his own pair. “We had to grind for these. Now we can’t hear the bullshit; we just put these on.”
The loss of a friend is a tragedy; the loss of a celebrity friend with an army of obsessive followers desperate for a scapegoat is something else. Tracy moved to New York City in early as fans blamed Gothboiclique — and, in turn, Tracy — for Peep’s drug use. “They were trying to say that we’re the sole reason he’s dead,” says Cold Hart. “None of our other friends wanted to speak out or help us.”
“When I feel some type of way, I can’t think straight,” Tracy tells me. “I fall asleep thinking about it.” Racked with grief over Peep’s death and fury at the online conspiracies about what exactly happened, he posted “some pretty crazy shit.” In one since-deleted tweet, he wrote,
“Before I kill myself I’m gonna mass shoot kids at shows so be careful coming to my shows.”
Needless to say, that didn’t go over very well. A few days later, Tracy was backstage at the Knitting Factory in Brooklyn with his mom, who’d driven up from Virginia to see him perform. A documentary by Mass Appeal captures what happened next: a contingent of NYPD officers from what Tracy believes to be the department’s notorious “hip-hop squad” swarmed the venue. They informed Tracy that they’d seen his tweet, and he wouldn’t be allowed to perform.
“Then they took me away in an ambulance,” he says. “I felt like the Joker.” I fail to stifle an involuntary laugh and then quickly apologize. “It was funny,” he tells me. “But what wasn’t funny was, I didn’t realize what I was about to be in for.” Tracy was then committed to a psychiatric ward for ten days, a time he remembers as horrible. “I don’t see how that could make anyone feel better. It was really bad.” At one point, Tracy says he tried to leave the institution, but was told if he left, he’d get thrown in jail. “There was one dude, I guess he thought I wasn’t really in there with him,” he remembers. “He would be like, ‘Yo, can you go to the store and get me a soda?’ I’d be like ‘Bro, I can’t leave.’ He’d make me take his money, and say, ‘Get yourself something nice, too.’”
“If your friend died from an octopus attack, would you be sad?” —Lil Tracy
Tracy and I zoom over New York City’s Williamsburg Bridge in the back of his manager’s SUV as he tells me about feeding Percocet to a pornstar’s pet squirrel. In late , Tracy spent a surreal month living in the Miami abode of Bruno Dickemz, a rap-adjacent pornstar known for his “Groupie Lust” video series, in which rappers have sex with pornstars (Tracy filmed a never-released scene). In addition to two pet alligators — which lived in the same guest room Tracy slept in — Dickemz kept a squirrel, which roamed freely around the house.
Once, Tracy and a friend placed a painkiller in front of the little creature. “We didn’t think he’d eat it,” says Tracy, illuminated by the Manhattan skyline. “But he did.” After swallowing the pill, he remembers, the squirrel “just went like this” — he folds his hands into paws and stares glassy-eyed at the ceiling — “and stayed like that for a day. We were freaking out. Then he got up again and started running around!”
Like all Tracy stories, it’s a little twisted and absurd.
Here’s another one. One night in May of , Tracy and some friends got drunk and spent the night “talking like hillbillies.” The accents were based off the “redneck dudes” he knew from rural areas not far from Virginia Beach. Inspired, Tracy searched his email for beats with a country twang, and found an instrumental by Gren8 that fit his purposes. He recorded “Like A Farmer” on the spot.
A tongue-in-cheek ode to Wrangler jeans, Tyson chicken, and Coors Light (with a generous helping of AutoTuned “yeehaws”), the song became a surprise hit online. Soon after it dropped, Tracy received an even more surprising message from Lil Uzi Vert, asking to jump on the remix. The verse he delivered is catchy, detailed, and hilarious. (“You’re cute as a button, but don’t got fake boobs” is a post-rhyme country-trap pickup line for the ages.) Uzi deftly mirrors Tracy’s cadence and lyrical approach. It’s a co-sign not just of Tracy’s latent star power, but of his craft.
“No one would expect that from me,” he says. “People who counted me out — it’s a shot to them. I’m joking around, and I can still go viral. That song helped me mentally. It made me feel like, everything happens, just look at the bright side of shit. Try to laugh.”
In his first few months living in New York, Tracy fell back into heavy drug use after a sober period. “I was dealing with depression, trying to push [Peep’s death] behind me,” he says. As we talk about what happened next, Tracy’s wrapped in a cozy blanket, reclining against the wall next to a pile of stuffed animals — a snake, a sheep, Mickey Mouse, and Winnie the Pooh. His voice never wavers, but occasionally he stares off into the distance.
He explains to me that in July , someone left cocaine in his room. He did a bump. Then he got thirsty and walked into the kitchen, where he found a Sprite on the counter. He chugged it, unaware it was a friend’s THC-infused lean, and went to a bar nearby and drank tequila. His heart started pounding and he went outside for a smoke. Then he sat down on a stoop and felt an “explosion” go off in his body: “I felt like my heart was bleeding.”
Feeling like he was about to die, he tried to run home, hoping someone there could call an ambulance. The next thing he knew, a car pulled up. From inside he heard voices yelling his name. He realized they were fans and ran up to them, clutching his chest. The next day Tracy woke up in a hospital bed. A nurse told him that he’d experienced a heart attack. “My whole left side was numb,” he says. “It brought me to tears when she told me.”
Tracy spent the next month recuperating with his mom in Virginia. “I just let him lay around, and made sure he’s okay and nursed him back to health,” she says. “That’s a very scary situation.” Tracy got sober. “I don’t want to die,” he says, looking right at me. “I’m scared.”
Tracy recently beat Red Dead Redemption 2, and he already misses it. “Watch this,” he says as he stalks an enormous grizzly bear through a shady patch of trees. He peers through a rifle scope, fires, and the bear comes charging at him. It grapples him to the ground and tears at his throat, before his avatar fires a shotgun blast into the bear’s snarling head.
Later that night, Tracy plays me a handful of unreleased songs. Some of them sound similar to his work with Famous Dex and last year’s Designer Talk EP — spacey trap production, clever punchlines, and arrangements that wouldn’t sound out of place on the radio. One song, called “This Is It Chief,” references his health struggles: “I done took a lot of drugs in my days (facts) / I made my doctor’s hair turn fucking gray (my bad).” Tracy marvels at his own line. “Who else would say that?” he asks, shaking his head in disbelief.
He’s also been working on material that’s more in line with his Peep collaborations and the Sinner EP. Think guitar samples, poignant melodies, and lyrics that touch on desire, heartbreak, and death. “For my next project I’m thinking about tapping in with the old shit,” he says. “People wanna hear it, and I think it would be good for my career.”
Tracy’s songs have tens of millions of plays across the internet. He’s headlining a national tour this spring and several dates are already sold out. He’s friendly with A-listers like Juice WRLD and Lil Uzi Vert; if you’re under the age of 25, he’s your favorite rapper’s favorite rapper (even Kevin Durant is a fan). But it’s possible Tracy might have been a bigger star by now if he’d played the game a little different — bit his tongue on social media, pursued a major label deal, waited patiently in line behind Peep, and compromised on some edgy creative choices.
In November , following several months of sobriety, Tracy posted a photo on his Instagram story of three Xanax bars in his hand, captioned, “I’m quitting music, all I feel every day is pain and sadness.” He deleted a bunch of songs off the internet and took the pills, a relapse he now explains was from depression he experienced after reading comments on Reddit.
“What I really want people to know,” says Tracy, with a hint of something deeper than frustration, “[is that] I’m not a crazy drug addict. I’m just a normal, nice dude.” The problem is, since nothing really goes away online, crawling into a new skin is a lot easier than shedding an old one. How is anyone ever supposed to grow up?
One frigid day in January, Tracy, his manager, and I are walking around Manhattan’s Chinatown. Tracy wants barbecued duck. A quick search on Google Maps reveals a place nearby called Funny BBQ Tracy laughs and repeats the name a few times, chewing on the weird phrase. “It better be funny.” The restaurant’s only nod to humor is the tuxedo T-shirts worn by the staff. “I think I could work here,” he says, nodding at our waiter’s shirt. “It’s Lil Tracy, welcome to Funny BBQ. Can I take your order?”
At the buffet, we load up on different meats. Tracy steers clear of the pickled chicken feet — “Bro, are you really about to eat that?” — but he’s all over the seafood skewers. “If your friend died from an octopus attack, would you be sad?” he asks, considering a tentacle. It’s a perfectly cryptic Tracy-ism.
Tracy’s still figuring out what to do with himself since getting sober again. He likes Asian food, shopping for designer clothes, and high-end imported tea. He plays a lot of video games. Sometimes he posts about being lonely on Twitter. After he gets back from his tour, he’s planning on moving back to suburban New Jersey, renting a house, and setting up a real recording studio. He craves space and solitude.
That afternoon we end up at Popular Jewelry, the Canal Street store known for its rap clientele. The walls are plastered with laminated photos of A$AP Rocky, Playboi Carti, and, blessedly, Jude Law, posing with Chiokva “Eva” Sam, the middle-aged Chinese woman who runs the place. She perks up when we walk in.
“Instagram?” she asks, observing Tracy’s colorful hair and face tattoos. He types in his handle. Her eyes narrow as she scans his posts: “Uzi?” She’s spotted a photo of Tracy FaceTiming with the star. “Yeah, we’re friends,” he mutters, smiling a little. “Okay, photo!” she declares, and beckons him behind the counter. An employee snaps a pic and posts it on the store’s Instagram story. Tracy buys a silver lip stud.
As we leave, Eva hands him a red envelope embossed with a golden dragon. “For luck,” she says. He opens it later and finds a fifty-dollar bill.
Tracy lil what to happened
Lil Tracy Accused of Alleged Rape, Fans Not Buying It
Lil Tracy & Future Crystals Accused of Rape in
A woman from San Francisco, CA named Rosey King (@roseeeeeeeee on Twitter) has come forward today to share her experience of allegedly being drugged and raped by Jazz Lil Tracy Butler, as well as members of a Seattle, Washington group called Future Crystals. The incident was said to have taken place in April of . The Lil Tracy rape allegation is particularly dividing for many emo rap fans today.
She also provides photographs of paperwork from Swedish Medical Center in Seattle, which she obtained a day after the alleged events when she sought out a rape kit. The alleged assault was investigated by the police, but no arrests were ever made.
Lil Tracy is known for being one of the primary members of GothBoiClique, as well as his work with Lil Peep. Awful Things by Lil Peep and Lil Tracy currently has million views on YouTube. One of their other biggest hits is Witchblades, which is at million views.
Click here for her full statement on medium.com
Excerpt From the Future Crystals / Lil Tracy Rape Allegation:
im gonna write this all out at once because it’s difficult to type it over and over again to individual people i explain the story to, and several people have been asking me about it lately. i’ve issued statements to the police, kept in contact with the investigator to update him on every single detail that comes my way, and i’ve told my story to lots of people, lots of times. i’ve remained vocal about my experience both online and in person. doing so has changed my life in ways i wouldn’t have ever imagined.
i was sexually assaulted in by lil tracy and members of future crystals (an underground rap collective based in seattle).
my rapists live freely today, while i wait for my justice with a reputation for lying about getting raped, which i didn’t do. i feel silenced, and i feel angry. i won’t allow it anymore. there have been a lot of conversations online recently about known rapists and rape culture, so i’ve decided to speak up again.(source)
The news is certainly viral on Twitter today, and fans are saying that the alleged Future Crystals / Lil Tracy rape story has been circulating for over a year now. Many dont even believe the alleged victim to be credible:
The alleged victim wasnt sure who had done anything, but claimed that during the night the only person there who was even remotely creepy to me was tracy..
walking into the kitchen, i saw gemm forza standing there, holding my bottle, which was almost completely empty- and it had been significantly fuller just several minutes before. i know i was letting a few of them hit my bottle, but they weren’t going hard on it. it didn’t make sense that the bottle would become THAT empty within a matter of minutes. sadly, this thought didn’t cross my mind in that moment. cause i didn’t really care about the bottle. i just made some joke to forza like, “you guys slammed my bottle hella fast”. he apologized, i said not to worry and we just laughed about it. then we talked for a minute. he wasn’t creepy toward me in that conversation. in fact, for the whole time i was coherent and could remember, the only person there who was even remotely creepy to me was tracy.
forza handed my bottle back to me so i could have the last of it. i took one drink, and shortly after, walked into the living room to introduce myself to the two other girls who had arrived. they were sitting in an armchair with each other. the last thing i can clearly remember was going up to them to introduce myself, kneeling down to get at their level, and telling them my name. things got very cloudy immediately, and then there was nothing after that.
i woke up the next morning around am, on my back. i was in a bed next to tracy. i was wearing my shirt and one sock, but no pants or underwear. i sat up & i looked between my legs, and there was a blood stain. then i felt myself & there was blood on my fingers. i got out of bed immediately. my clothes and phone were on the floor by the bed. i put my clothes on (i left my other sock on accident), grabbed my backpack from upstairs in the kitchen, and got out of there as fast as i could. i walked around the block and waited for a lyft home, which picked me up at am.Snippet from the medium.com Future Crystals / Lil Tracy rape allegation (source)
Fans on Reddit are not necessarily buying it either:
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What happened to Lil Kawaii? Death explored as Lil Tracy pays tribute
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Lil Kawaii’s fans and friends took to Twitter and Instagram to share their condolences over his passing. One person Tweeted: “R.I.P #LilKawaii Just from the few mins we got to talk I knew you were a good soul and I’ll never forget you or your music.“
Who was Lil Kawaii?
Lil Kawaii was a US-based musician.
He creates rap music and has a following of over 20k on Instagram (@_lilkawaii_).
Judging by his Instagram page, he was born on June 27th. On one of his birthdays, he took to IG to write: “…I’m so thankful to be alive and i can’t believe I’m still here tbh. Thanks to everyone that sent birthday wishes and I’m glad to have all of you in my life thanks for rockin w me…“
On August 15th, , he took to Instagram to ask his followers who he should work with on his first album: “Working on my first album!! Who should be on it“.
Lil Kawaii’s music
Lil Kawaii was a rap musician and has songs such as Muscle Up and Left On Read posted to YouTube.
His music was similar to that of his friend Lil Tracy’s. The duo collaborated together on songs such as I Love My Fans, in the past.
Lil Tracy can be found on Instagram @tracyminajj with m followers.
Lil Kawaii’s death explored
On August 28th, , Lil Kawaii’s friend Lil Tracy took to Instagram to share a post captioned: “RIP LIL KAWAII”.
Another artist named Lalonie took to Twitter to say that she’d lost two friends in the last week from an overdose and wrote “RIP LIL KAWAII”, too.
Lil Tracy also took to Instagram stories following the news and said to his followers: “Stop taking fake drugs“.
The rapper also shared photos of the pair together to his IG story, remembering his friend, and wrote over one of the images: “I can’t f***ing believe this sh** rest in peace to my twin brother I can’t believe this sh**, I love you so much.”
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I unloaded the groceries and approached the girl from behind. Pressing his groin to her sweet ass, put his arms around her tummy. At the same time, the right hand spontaneously crawled under the elastic of his pants and immediately found a shaved pubis.